Tiny Glow

Unofficially, I have dubbed April “Stabilization Month” here at Tiny Glow. This month is all about getting back on track, moving gently but firmly in the direction of healthy habits once more. Although I will officially be sticking to a (slightly relaxed) calorie budget and tracking all my food again starting on Monday, I have been playing with the tracker sites (SparkPeople is my old standby but I have also been considering using Daily Burn) and making some healthy meals like the tuna/whole wheat pasta salad I enjoyed for lunch today!

I’m going to keep walking most days of the week. It doesn’t stress me out, and it gets me moving. I’m going to try hard not to compare myself to the more athletic weight-loss bloggers on this front, and to just be as consistent as possible. April is for re-centering myself and feeling good about what I am able to do.

I am currently re-reading Kami’s book—just finished the chapter on Healthy Habit #1 (limiting your sugar intake and ditching artificial sweeteners). Her writing style really is enjoyably conversational—much easier going than some of my diet books, believe me! Plus even if I can’t completely follow her advice to the letter right away, it gives me useful suggestions for how to move in a healthier direction.

I received an email alert from SparkPeople yesterday featuring an awesome post by a member. Here’s a shortened excerpt, but I encourage you to read the full post (it’s the first message in this thread):

My car got stolen and out of necessity I started walking A LOT more, on errands within a couple miles and then some miles between bus routes to make the shortest trips. I was eating a lot more and feeling hungry a lot, so out of concern I finally bought a scale. (Until now I only weighed in at the doctor or Nutritionist appt or at the gym– but w/o car, I haven’t been able to access any of those for two months.)
Surprise, surprise, not only did I hit my goal, I went below it AND am now at the weight I was when I was 21 and really active. . . .

It’s TRUE. I went right past my goal and never noticed…was too busy trucking along those sidewalks and trails, munching my veggies and fruit snacks every few hours and having a grand old time knowing how lucky I was they took my car now, verses 1-2 years ago when I would have really been trapped and housebound. Now, NOTHING keeps me still . . . because I can walk everywhere!

What really inspired me about the post was the fact that something crappy happened to this woman (her car getting stolen), and she took that lemon and made lemonade out of it by becoming healthier and more active than ever before.

Have a wonderful Easter weekend, everyone!

Lyn, who writes the well-known blog Escape from Obesity, shared the following thought on Twitter a while back:

Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining is hard. Choose your hard.

When I read that, I thought: This here is a not-so-pretty slice of truth. I still come back to that nugget of wisdom from time to time.

Many websites I enjoy are very empowering to read because the writers are cheerleaders for all of us. Unfortunately, I have never been much of a cheerleader. I do support people, and get excited for their successes, and want all of us to do well. But for some reason I also feel compelled to point out how hard losing weight can be. I haven’t reached maintenance yet, but I’m 100% sure that’s pretty tough too.

One thing I pointed out in an earlier post, The Cost of Weight Loss, was that being overweight costs us, too. Like Lyn says, we can choose our “hard,” but there’s really no way around that aspect of life.

I also believe there is redemption for us in the hard times. People are so beautiful to me when they are being brave and trying their hardest and persevering in the face of obstacles. It’s an amazing side of humanity that simply can’t shine on the “easy” days. Please know the next time you are going through something tough and doing your very best despite the circumstances, that I think you are freaking gorgeous, more so even than on the days when the sun is shining and everything is going your way and you are being recognized right and left for your achievements.

I posted a new progress photograph last night, and I’ve received some incredibly kind compliments on the changes I’ve made. That feels wonderful! At the same time, I have to acknowledge that for every progress photo you see here, there are about 60 non-progress-picture days where I am just plodding along, doing my thing. And it takes every single of of those days to make a progress picture.

You may be in between progress photos of your own right now, and I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that where you’re at is vital. You are making your progress photo happen. It’s in the works, and every day that you keep up your good work is another day closer to that unveiling.

Today I made my sneaky entry into the 150s, weighing in at 159 lbs (a loss of 1.5 lbs since last week). I’m beyond pleased, you guys. I am Totally Stoked!

I am also down 44 lbs total now. The big 5-0 is on the horizon. WOW. Just, wow. I’m so amazed and befuddled and proud of myself all at the same time. I just keep on going, and getting closer to my goal. I’m not perfect, but I’m doing well enough to keep improving, month after month. A new progress picture will be forthcoming very soon!

This week I did manage to incorporate three salads (I was striving for four, but alas!) into my lunch rotation. Additionally, M and I got inspired in the kitchen over the weekend and we ate a hearty side of kale with our Saturday evening meal. I’m satisfied with my nutritional progress this week. I still have lots of work to do in this area, but I’m finally starting to make small but positive changes. And I’m still completely soda-free.

Soon I’ll be hitting the six-month mark of my weight-loss journey—although in a way it’s been years in the making. Six months ago I don’t think I had any real concept of the many positive changes I would be enacting and experiencing as a result of my decision to do something about my weight. What will the next six months bring?

How about you? Have you made any big changes in the past six months? What would you like to accomplish in the next six months?

Remember this shirt? Well, it’s getting loose on me. When I first bought it, the blouse was nicely fitted (see pic!), but it is starting to hang on me just a bit.  It’s a nice problem to have. . . . I just wish I had the funds to immediately replace it and the rest of its too-big brethren immediately.

Let me be frank with you guys: Money has been on my mind lately. Most of us who have ever gone on a diet know that weight loss costs money. Some of the costs are obvious:

• Gym membership, personal training fees, or cost to join an exercise class
• Pantry and fridge sweeps and replacement with healthy foods; possible special diet shakes and meals. Diet program membership costs.

But what about the less-obvious price tags attached to weight loss?

• New work clothes every 8 weeks or so, because you can’t show up to the office looking like a slob or with your pants falling off.
• Fitness gear like good walking/running shoes (very important!) and clothes to wear while working out; if you’re a former couch potato like I am, you didn’t have any lying around before you got started.
• Occasional misjudgment costs: As a health and fitness newbie, you may occasionally make a wrong choice. There was the  time I bought a huge butternut squash at the farmer’s market, attempted to make soup out of it, failed miserably, and had to throw the whole batch away. Once I signed up for an exercise class up front that I hated almost immediately, but couldn’t get my money back at that point.
• New kitchenware if, like me, you used to rely exclusively on pre-made foods  and are now branching out into the wonderful world of home-cooking.

So yes, my weight loss  has cost me. But my weight gain and obesity cost even more:

• I spent about $10 on sweets/soda every single day. May not sound like much, but it really adds up!
• More doctor’s visits.
• New clothes . . . as I continued to go up a size at least once a year. Plus size clothes, in case you don’t know, are often twice as expense as “normal”-sized clothing.
• Eating out or ordering delivery frequently cost me another $50 – 75 per week, I’d estimate.
• Heartburn medicine isn’t free! My old eating habits frequent caused me intense esophageal distress, and most nights I had to take something to alleviate the discomfort so that I could sleep.
• Friends. I realize this is not true for all obese people, but in my case I stopped wanting to appear in public/social situations, and just sort of fell off the radar. I am coming out of my shell again, but I’m the first to admit it takes time.

Money is something I have to manage very carefully, but in my current situation (losing weight, gaining health), I am willing to do that because the pay-off is worth it. I still can’t have everything I want, but I do get a few of my wish-list items now and then to keep myself happy. Boot camp is a substantial cost currently, but down the road I hope to be able to self-motivate myself to work  out intensely enough on my own and no longer be dependent on Coach barking orders ;). In the meantime, I’m learning a lot and losing weight quite nicely too.

How about you? What are/were your costs for being heavier? What does it cost you to lose weight?

Last night we created a fantastic home-made dinner sourced from two fairly simple recipes: lemon-marinated chicken and kale with pecans. The two dishes’ flavors paired together unexpectedly well, and both were recipes that even a novice in the kitchen like myself could put together. Win!

I was so excited about eating the dinner that I didn’t snap a picture—not that I have the SLR camera or the skills that the internet’s foodie bloggers have. But I did get to witness M gobbling down every last bite of his greens, which is worth more than a hundred photographs to me.

Although I’ve experimented with some lunchtime salads over the past week, this was probably my first time ever cooking up a dish of savory greens. The pecans and the kale brought out the best in each other and the dish was easy to make, a definite winner!

For those of you who are very comfortable and confident in the kitchen, I may not be able to adequately explain how triumphant I felt as we sat down to enjoy our meal last night. There is still so much I don’t know about preparing tasty and nutritious meals, but yesterday was a significant milestone for me and I know we will be eating lemon chicken and kale with pecans again before too long!