Thoughts on Taking Things to the Next Level

I am so tired right now that I am 50% sure I am going to face-plant onto my desk at some point today. My mood is great, funnily enough; I think it’s just the extra exercise I’m getting this week that has my head feeling all fuzzy.  But that’s oh-kay, because tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Friday is likewise a day off for me. I can survive. With panache, even.

I can’t stop thinking about strength training. I have my heart set on training with one of the folks at GrassIron, a group of trainers I came across in my intense internet searches of the past few weeks.  What I don’t currently have is enough cash to afford the program I want, so now I’m working on saving up. By January I will be able to sign up with them if they have availability. I want my muscles to grow, I don’t want to lift little “Barbie weights” ad infinitum. My goal isn’t to look like a super-ripped fitness model, to be honest; I just want to be the best, healthiest fat-burner I can be, and I have come to believe that serious strength training may be an important part of that. I am intimidated by strength training, though, which is why I want my introduction to serious weights work to be conducted by a professional.

I have worked damn hard to lose these 21 lbs during the past 10 weeks. I did this on my own, doing my own Frankenstein weight-loss “program,” and I am proud of what I’ve accomplished! I do not think I could have gone straight from being a candy-snarfing couch potato into a formal program of any kind with much success; in fact, I think I would have quit within a week. Last March, that’s exactly what happened: with lots of fanfare, I launched myself into a boot camp weight-loss contest, only to quit after one day. I wasn’t ready for the workout with 30 strangers, most of whom were much fitter than I, in the dark at 5:30 AM across town. I wasn’t ready for the combination of cutting my calories and eating tons of protein. I wasn’t ready physically or psychologically. After trying to gag down one more dry bit of grilled chicken, I simply snapped and that was the end of the boot-camp contest experiment.

I gave up on weight-loss completely for months, gained a few more pounds in fact, and didn’t seriously consider trying again until I stumbled across Sean’s blog and his very simple weight-loss plan. But as I read his daily posts, the tiny glow was lit inside me, and I dared to think that I could try something similar. Since the day I began all this in mid-September, I have accomplished some important things:

• I gradually became fairly comfortable eating at around 1700 calories per day of whatever I want.  I estimate that this was a drop of about 800 or so calories per day for me.
• I got into the swing of tracking my food choices every day using SparkPeople.
• I started doing some cardio exercise, and I now do low-impact cardio (bicycle or elliptical) 5 days per week for at least 30 minutes.
• I lost 21.5 lbs from my all-time highest weight of 203 lbs.

I am a little fearful of changing anything in my routine, but at the same time I feel that some change is necessary for my weight loss to truly be fat loss as opposed to muscle loss. Maybe I am aiming high with all this, but I want to look strong and healthy and trim when I reach my goal weight, not like a deflated balloon with no definition. I also want my body to be as fat-burning as possible, and from what I’ve read, building my muscles up would boost my metabolism too.

Food is a very tricky area for me, and I’m still not willing to totally give up my low-cal ice-cream treats, tragically empty of nutritional value though they may be. But I am ready, I think, to start making some changes to my macronutrient ratio, try to work in more protein and veggies, and feed my body a slightly higher quality of fuel.

I don’t just want to lose weight, in the end. I want to be strong and healthy and capable. I have been thin before, but I have never been strong. In the end, this could make all the difference when it comes time for me to maintain at goal weight.