Remember how I was all excited to get my recent blood work results back, because I was just sure that by losing 20 lbs, I would have improved my numbers? Well, I got my results back Friday and . . . it didn’t happen. My cholesterol was actually up a few points from when a different doctor tested it about 6 months ago.
The difference wasn’t statistically significant—a difference of just a few points—but I felt absolutely gutted. Like one very important motivator for my weight-loss journey (my health) wasn’t immediately getting whipped into shape, and that meant that my whole effort was a big fat failure. Suddenly the 23 lbs I’d lost seemed like a hollow victory. I went to bed with a heavy, disappointed heart Friday night. I felt like the reason my cholesterol hadn’t changed for the better must be the fact that I still eat lots of refined foods with long ingredient lists.
Saturday I was up and fighting again, determined to eat only whole foods and make all my meals from scratch at home and be the saintly picture of good eating habits. I decided I would actually cook something instead of microwaving a dinner. I purchased an armload of fresh local vegetables at the farmer’s market and M and I set about chopping them up. I’m not sure why I chose Butternut Squash Soup as my recipe . . . I guess because it always sounds so good when other people talk about it. But I am the girl who doesn’t even like pumpkin pie because of the texture, so evidently I was living on Planet Delusion, thinking somehow this pumpkin-family soup would totally not be the same. Basically, the soup came out more like my idea of baby food. Even M couldn’t eat more than a few bites, although he struggled valiantly. My virtuous experiment was a virtuous fail. I went to bed Saturday night feeling, if possible, even worse than I did Friday night.
Sunday I woke up and took a good look around. It was drizzling outside, and we had grocery shopping at Wal-Mart to do. The cold glare of reality was upon me.
I really dislike failing at things. I do believe that the physically healthiest diet is one of whole foods and lots of vegetables. That being said, when I started this whole weight-loss shebang, I told myself I was going to totally abandon rules about what I had to eat, as long as I got used to eating less, period.
Here is what a typical work day’s food looked like before I enacted my plan: Oatmeal or cereal at home; king-size candy bar mid-morning plus maybe a few mini-candies; Lean Pocket lunch; king-size candy bar mid-afternoon; ordering in a large Mexican meal for dinner; cupcake or candy for desert.
And here’s a typical work day while sticking to my calorie budget: Oatmeal or omelet with banana at home; apple and Fiber One bar mid-morning; Lean Pocket lunch; Kashi crackers and 1 oz cheese, pineapple mid-afternoon; Lean Cuisine personal pizza dinner; Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich desert.
I’m not entirely ignorant on the subject of nutrition; I realize that there is a lot to criticize in my “weight loss” eating pattern. That being said, I have actually been able to stick to this general plan. For almost three months. That is almost unheard-of for me. I still have a lot of weight (almost 60 lbs) to lose, which may in itself be what it takes to bring my cholesterol down.
I do feel certain I need to improve my food plan. However, I have to start where I am, as they say. For me, cooking an omelet is a big deal that I am proud of. I am no Betty Crocker, or even Hungry Girl! But I am willing to start moving toward more whole foods, to gradually eliminate some of the super-processed foods I eat. I am going to try making one new recipe a week at home—and no, Butternut Squash Soup is not on the list! I still purchased some of my usual low-calorie “favorites” at the grocery store yesterday, but I also picked up a new whole-grain Healthy Choice meal with a much shorter ingredients list and I snagged some hummus. At the farmer’s market on Saturday, we also bought farm-fresh eggs, baby spinach, and tangerines—all of which are on today’s menu.
I am imperfect. Can I be okay with that? I have to be. If I’m not, I won’t be in this weight-loss (and eventually maintenance) journey for the long haul.
7. December 2009 at 2:39 PM
Bummer about the cholesterol…
I’m in a similar boat as far as eating goes. There are a lot of healthy foods that I had never even heard of until a couple months ago let alone tried. I love the Healthy Choice Fresh Mixers, but realize that all the sodium and such aren’t that good for me. I’m really trying to incorporate more fruits and veggies … I mean, I LOVE them (I really do!)…but for me it’s just time consuming to wash, cut and prep them…I feel stupid for pointing that out because it makes me look even lazier than I am, but it’s true. It’s so much easier for me to grab a cup of pudding (60 cal) that’s already packaged and ready to eat. Peel the lid and go. This is going to be a lifelong commitment though, so I just keep reminding myself that investing the time will be WORTH it.
You’re doing awesome and I’m thrilled that you’re still on track…Keep it up and hopefully by your next doc’s visit you’ll start to see the results you deserve!
8. December 2009 at 9:21 AM
Don’t feel stupid at all, Josie! Stuff like prep time plays into lots of people’s food decisions. Kudos to you on realizing a few of your pitfalls and making a conscious effort to take good care of yourself for the long haul :).
7. December 2009 at 3:00 PM
I’m sorry :(. Hugs. Seriously, it gets easier, just keep taking the baby steps. If I would have subjected myself to the regiment I’m on now when I started 3 years ago, I would have totally thrown a fit. Now, it’s just what I do. I don’t eat the micro meals and convenience foods anymore very often, but I keep some Amy’s meals around and canned soups just in case.
If I could give you ONE suggestion to steer your diet a little bit, add a serving or 2 of frozen veggies or a side salad with low fat dressing both with your lunch and dinner (or maybe start out just at dinner and work into it). Just throw it in a tupperware, shake on some no salt seasonings and spray butter or a little margarine. It will fill you up more and add some extra fiber and unless you hate all veggies, it’s totally win/win.
8. December 2009 at 9:23 AM
Thanks for the encouragement/commiseration, Quix. It’s good to remember that Rome (or major weight loss/health improvements) wasn’t built in a day. I appreciate your veggie suggestions. I currently pretty much only eat veggies in my omelet (spinach) or if they happen to be in my TV dinner. Your side-salad idea sounds really easy. I think I’ll start with dinner!
7. December 2009 at 3:17 PM
I’m all about the whole foods and can share some really easy recipes if you want…
It’s baby steps, like you said. Work towards eliminating one fake food a day, then once that feels easy, then maybe 2.
8. December 2009 at 9:25 AM
I would love to hear some of your easy healthy recipes, Heather. Especially ones that don’t have tons of ingredients and don’t require special cooking skills ;). My current favorite veggies are tomato and spinach, so maybe Italian-style is the direction I should try? Hmm…
7. December 2009 at 5:56 PM
Hilary, I am so sorry about the cholesterol. Be proud of that 23 pound loss, regardless of the test, you are doing great! The key is that you had your blood tested and are aware. That is way ahead of most people.
I agree with Quix, having frozen veggies or a side salad w/every meal can be tasty and really give yourself a boost – meaning feeling good about what you put in your body. The Birds Eye steamed vegetables are my staple veggie. I keep many bags in the frig and just microwave them, I add a couple shots of the I Can’t believe It’s Not Butter spray and enjoy! I used to hate brussel sprouts, but now absolutely love them with a little olive oil and touch of salt. The mixture with asparagus/corn/carrots is great as well as cauliflower, broccoli, green beans….well I could go on all day! Good luck!
8. December 2009 at 9:26 AM
Tina, thank you for the veggie suggestions! I will have to check out some of the frozen options. M and I purchased some single-serving veggie portions at Wal-Mart, so I may start adding one of those to dinner or lunch.
7. December 2009 at 8:31 PM
I’m sorry to hear about the numbers on your cholesterol test, but don’t let it get you too down. 23 pounds lost is a great accomplishment and you are much further along, on your own plan, than many. Please don’t discount what you’ve done based on this one test.
Now that you know, you can move forward from here to make some changes. It is important that you do what is comfortable and best for you. Only YOU know what you can and can’t do and I think you’ve been doing well with that thus far.
I’m kinda like you in that I don’t believe in limiting my food intake. Yes, fresh veggies, whole foods, fruits, etc. are important and really should be a part of your overall food intake. However, there are times when we just don’t have the time to do all of that. A low-calorie processed food is what we have and therefore we eat it. We are, however, aware and conscious of what we have to do to lose and eventually maintain the loss.
In due time, you will get there. Making small changes over time is important. You don’t run the risk of getting burned out doing so. Keep at it! Don’t get too frustrated. You’ve done really well and come too far!
8. December 2009 at 9:28 AM
Thank you for the kind words, Ernise. I really was getting dangerously close to frustration burnout this weekend. Now that a few days have passed, I am a little less emotional about the cholesterol issue and more open to the small changes people are suggesting. This is good practice for me in not being an all-or-nothing person! I appreciate your perspective on this.
7. December 2009 at 9:02 PM
I think you’re making great progress. Instead of trying recipes for things you don’t like, maybe start by making your own pizza or some other favorite food. I do the same thing, get on a healthy kick and make something I am not very excited about.
I think your plan looks fine, other than that you have no veggies.
8. December 2009 at 9:32 AM
Jen: I think that’s a really good idea! M and I were actually talking about the same thing, and I found myself wondering aloud why I decided to make something I didn’t know if I’d like rather than trying a healthy variation on something I definitely do like (such as tomato soup, or pizza, or a chicken dish). I am concerned about the veggie issue, but I might as well start with eating some or more of the veggies I know I like (such as spinach) rather than forcing myself to eat things I really don’t like.
8. December 2009 at 9:09 AM
Hilary, please don’t be discouraged! Cholesterol is a tricky one because your body makes it, it’s not all from diet. Mine has remained stubbornly elevated despite weight loss, exercise and elimination of white carbs from my diet (and I eat entirely whole foods, not a single bite of processed food touches my lips). Hopefully the lab sent you more detail than just the total cholesterol level – you may find that as you exercise more and lose weight your HDL (the good cholesterol) level increases. And triglyceride levels are usually reduced if you eliminate refined carbs (mine are now half the level they used to be). For now I would concentrate on your great successes and ignore the blood test results. There are lots of health issues tied to excess weight so believe you ARE improving your health as you continue to lose weight. Dr. J had a good column recently on BMI, if you haven’t seen it you should. Regarding your diet, since it’s going so well for you I wouldn’t rock the boat at this point, but I would try to add in a few servings of vegetables. I don’t know what you like, but you could add a little spinach or tomato to your omelette, bring a bag of raw carrots or other veges to snack on at work, add the frozen vege as others have suggested to your dinner. I found I like small leaf lettuce just plain from a little baggie. You’ll figure it out, you’re a smart cookie. Congratulations on your excellent progress!
8. December 2009 at 9:36 AM
Babbalou, I did get a more complete picture than just the total cholesterol count from the lab, and it definitely shows lots of room for improvement (i.e., the total count wasn’t high because my HDL was super-high or anything more benign like that). I did get the give-ups briefly this weekend, because I felt like I didn’t deserve to be successful or to even be thought of as successful since I hadn’t brought my cholesterol down yet. I’m proud that I didn’t act on those frustrated/disappointed feelings, though—I stuck to my plan and had a loss of 1.5 lbs this week :). That puts me at 25 lbs down . . . oh yeah! I am going to make some small changes to my eating, mainly the types suggested by you and my other commenters, focusing on adding a serving or two of veggies in and gradually trying out healthy recipes of foods that I genuinely like. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and for your support—it means a lot to me!
14. December 2009 at 9:38 AM
One of the things I’ve learned recently about cholesterol is that many times the underlying cause is inflamation…and over time, inflamation causes lesions to form inside our blood vessels. Our liver then kicks in and does exaclty what it is designed to do….create cholesterol to act as a salve on those lesion, protecting them so they can heal. Problem is, the cholesterol ends up causing other issues when inflammation is chronic. Just lowering cholesterol, particularly through the use of meds is like putting on a band-aid. Must find a way to deal with the inflammation I think. I found something that is working for me….contact me at cherylwrites at gmail dot com and I’ll send some info.
11. December 2009 at 4:25 PM
Hey there, I’m new to your site, and wow, you are encouraging me today! You see, I’ve got about asmuch to lose as you did when you started out, and like you also, sticking to any plan has been a losing battle for me. I really like your adjustment in your diet, and how you didn’t totally eliminate the foods that you like…just moderated a little. You are doing great!
Seems we have more than just the weight-to-lose in common, tho. My cholesterol was high this past May at my physical, like 349 high. And, even tho I have not lost any weight to speak of, the cholesterol did come down. I used a product called Vemma, a liquid vitamin with some other stuff in it, and my doctor was literally amazed. In four weeks, my number went from 349 down to 271, an 80 point drop. Two months later it was down another 40 points, and in November my doc said it was right where it needed to be! Take a look, it might work for you too. http://bit.ly/5wFsHq
Keep on movin’ forward, tho…you are doing amazing!