Not everyone who could stand to drop a few pounds needs to completely change their life.
If you are reasonably happy and fulfilled, if you are stimulated by and content with most aspects of your life and your health is good, you may be one of those people. You honestly just need to lose a few pounds—maybe cut back on the after-work drinks or the after-dinner treats. You don’t need some kind of major life overhaul.
As for me, I have been dodging a bullet that finally seems to have lodged in my heart today.
I experienced blank-eyed confusion, quickly followed by disappointment when I stepped on the scale this morning to find that I gained a pound over the past week. I stepped on one more time just to make sure.
Then I took a look at my weight-loss progress page, focusing in on the past month. In January, I’ve lost 3 lbs, as compared with 7 or 8 lbs in the previous months. I know I can do better.
I have not been lying here on Tiny Glow; what good could that do any of us? This month I stuck like glue to my 1700 calories per day budget, and I have broadened my workouts to include strength training and even a new walk-jog plan. I continue to exercise at least 5 or 6 days every week, generally for 30-40 minutes at a time. Currently, I can barely lift a water bottle with my right arm because it’s still aching from my modified push-ups on Saturday.
I guess I could use this as an excuse to say that nothing I do will ever be enough and just give up; but instead I’m going to try a little reasonable but tough love on myself. This morning I asked myself some uncomfortable questions:
- Have I really been trying to eat enough protein? (No.)
- How is my nutrition in general? Am I eating a variety of vegetables? (Not great. No.)
- Am I still relying on heavily processed foods for most of my meals and snacks? (Yes.)
- Is it time to reduce my caloric intake, or should I solely focus on my nutrition?
- Is it time to increase the time I spend exercising?
- Should I be increasing my exercise intensity?
I don’t have firm answers for the last three questions on that list, but they need to be addressed swiftly.
One more important question begs an honest answer:
- Have I really changed my life in the past few months?
I fall into the camp of people who not only need to lose weight; they also require something of a total life overhaul. And I still feel an unnatural attachment to sugary foods.
I am scared. I’m just as scared as I was when I first started following my original plan back in September. Back then, setting a limit on how much I could eat was terrifying to me on some level. It took a lot of mental work and planning, and it required dealing with a host of awkward, unwelcome emotions. I feel like the past few months laid out the groundwork for a life change, but weren’t the change itself.
I do realize that I lost over 30 lbs during that time, but a number of things remained unchanged: my reliance on processed and sugary foods; my avoidance of joining any groups or soliciting much outside help on my fitness efforts; my continued avoidance of studying for the GRE (while this may seem unrelated, it ties in with my desire to make certain life changes); my focus on body weight changes (the scale) rather than body fat changes, possibly to the detriment of my lean body mass.
I feel really shaky about things right now, but I am on the cusp of a new phase in my progress. I signed up to try out a free Crossfit class on Saturday morning. I have been trying to decide upon a solid, whole-foods-based nutritional plan to adopt. Once more unto the breach, dear friends!
26. January 2010 at 12:52 PM
this is actually an amazing learning process and can not be put into one little box with instructions included. as we all go thru the process we learn different things about ourselves. what works. what doesn’t. wouldn’t it be wonderful if you/we never had to tweak our program a bit? unfortunately that’s not the way it goes! so if you already know the answers to half the questions, figure out the solutions, then work on the next set of questions.
very proud of you for joining in to try a cross fit class! I too am not a real joiner, but I was challenged a few weeks ago to do “something new” so I tried Zumba and I loved it :) I still am not fond of showing up, but once I’m there, I’m really there. So GO FOR IT Hilary and reach out when you need any help to figure out what really works for you!
*big hugs* Renée
26. January 2010 at 1:05 PM
You raise a great point. I think it is always about changing our lives… that is why so many of us, like me, yo-yo. A diet has an end… but it shouldn’t ever end. We have to make it a life change. I am working on that this time around.
26. January 2010 at 1:56 PM
Hello, fabulous! You’re doing GREAT, and the fact that you just now gained during a long string of losses is nothing short of amazing. When I was going to Weight Watchers and weighing-in regularly, I often three weeks of small gains followed by one week of substantial-ish loss. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Try not to be discouraged.
I applaud you for taking this as an opportunity to reflect on your habits. GOLD STAR!
You wrote:
* How is my nutrition in general? Am I eating a variety of vegetables? (Not great. No.)
* Am I still relying on heavily processed foods for most of my meals and snacks? (Yes.)
These two are big when taken together! If you can kick some of the processed food and replace it with veggies, I bet you’ll see an improvement in how you feel and the scale. And that answers your next question:
* Is it time to reduce my caloric intake, or should I solely focus on my nutrition?
As for these two:
* Is it time to increase the time I spend exercising?
* Should I be increasing my exercise intensity?
I would recommend intensity over duration — and make sure you’re getting at least 8 hours of sleep.
Keep on going! You = awesome.
26. January 2010 at 2:13 PM
You’re really, really good at documenting (and posting!) your weight, but are you measuring yourself? It might help during times when the scale is acting stubborn.
A couple of weeks ago, at my 2 month anniversary of joining Weight Watchers, I got really discouraged because everyone else was losing weight faster than I was. One woman, who joined the week before I did, lost /twice/ as much weight.
Last week I learned that she never, ever exercises. And while she’s lost on the scale, she’s not yet fitting into smaller sizes. I’ve lost half her weight, but I’ve also gone down two pant sizes.
26. January 2010 at 2:15 PM
I didn’t mean to sound so negative about that other woman — she’s also really nice. I just meant that even though you’re not losing, you might be winning in another way.
26. January 2010 at 4:06 PM
Ahhhh…the revelation that we sometimes gain on our journey to losing. That gain can be detrimental to our psyche and cause one to go into a tailspin. Luckily, you don’t seem to be doing that. Super.
You’ve written quite a reflective post about possible changes that may need to be made to your lifestyle in order to continue the losing pattern you’ve achieved over the past few months. I think that is the first step to making the needed changes for you to continue to be successful. Remember that weight loss does slow down and we have to make some sort of change. Now it is time to figure out what you need to do to make that happen.
You have a good list in your posting, perhaps you tackle 1 or 2 of them at a time to see what works.
All the best as you continue your journey!
26. January 2010 at 4:28 PM
Hilary I think you are doing great. I know that the scale didn’t show you what you wanted to see, but I really like your attitude. You’re a realist and you realize there are things that could be affecting that number on the scale (which by the way I think is over-rated).
You also have to take in consideration the new changes your body may be experiencing if you have changed up your workout regime. My trainer always tells me that you have to let your body recover because it’s in shock when you change things up.
I’m so glad you’re not giving up. I look forward to reading your blog and your progress! :)
26. January 2010 at 6:26 PM
First, take a breath. The fat comes off *much* more easily in the beginning; as you get closer to goal, it’s going to take l o n g e r for every pound. Too, you could be retaining water (how’s your pms calendar?). Or maybe your body is just in a mood.
I would definitely suggest you look into changing your diet a bit – not “go on a diet”, but start adding in more healthy foods and ditching unhealthy ones (as a rule – you need to treat yourself to the junky stuff you love now and then).
But really, I wouldn’t worry. If you’re still stuck here in three weeks, then you can start to freak a bit and look at more drastic measures. But one weigh-in is no biggie. Really. You’re doing great.
26. January 2010 at 7:27 PM
It sounds like you’ve done a great deal of thinking about this. Recognizing what steps you need to take in order to progress is so very important. Take it one step at a time and you’ll see results, I’m sure.
27. January 2010 at 7:17 AM
yeah, what they said :) plus you started running; added a new exercise into the mix. maybe you’re putting on some muscle.
27. January 2010 at 9:22 AM
Hilary, I think you ask good questions and I’m confident in your ability to find answers that work for you but I think you’re being too hard on yourself. If walking around the block used to be a strain and you’re now exercising for more than 30 minutes 5-6 times a week I would call that a significant change in your life. You can continue to make improvements in your diet and alter or increase the exercise you’re doing but believe that you have changed your lifestyle. Losing 34 pounds is not a fluke, it’s a reflection of the hard work you’ve done. So keep working your plan, tweaking it when necessary, but believe that if you stay on plan you will continue to see results. My comments, for what they’re worth – 1)eating less processed food and more produce would be good for your health in the long run 2) remember as your body weight decreases you require fewer calories 3) studies have shown that people who successfully maintain a significant weight loss over a long period of time exercise at least an hour a day nearly every day of the week. Don’t be discouraged by the hour a day figure but believe over time you can get there and still enjoy the journey. And for the record, I always gain a few pounds if I’m running a lot. Maybe it’s muscle. You look fabulous, you can see the results in the mirror! It’s no longer completely accurate to say I know you can do this, it’s that you ARE doing it!
27. January 2010 at 2:21 PM
Hi all! I know I’ve been quiet in the comments as I process everything, but I wanted to make sure those of you checking back know that I’m reading everything single comment and email, and it is amazing to me that complete strangers can be so helpful and caring to someone they don’t even know—thank you! I am working out what will make sense for me, and hearing from you guys helps me get some much-needed perspective.
28. January 2010 at 10:35 AM
There is a lot of great perspective here in your comments, Hilary. You’ve come so far, and have done so great. Please don’t let this defeat you. A little ol’ piece of machinery should never have that much control in our lives, LOL. Thank you too, for the advice on my hip! I checked out the video you posted and will buy me one of those foam rollers. I had never even heard of that before, so thank you so MUCH for sharing that with me. Mwaah! You’re a rockstar!