Yesterday was my first day off the Diet Dr Smack, and I missed it sorely—both physically and psychologically. Evidently I’d gotten used to thinking of my two 20-ounce bottles of diet soda per day as my work-day “treats” (the way candy used to be). So I had a bit of a pity party in my cubicle and my head felt funny and I came very close to hitting up the vending machine next door by the time 2 o’clock in the afternoon rolled around.
Luckily, I impulsively popped in on a co-worker who is doing the official Relentless Boot Camp Adventure Challenge, and she calmly talked me out of that idea.
“I need a soda,” I said.
“No you don’t,” she said, smiling serenely.
Pause. Resentful resignation.
“Ohhhkay.” I plonked my butt down in a chair in her office and chatted for a few minutes, and before I knew it, the impulse to self-sabotage had passed.
Boot camp was tough for me last night. There were lots of push-ups. I do modified push-ups, but even those I do poorly. I was way behind most of the group as a result. It was kind of demoralizing. But I can’t give up, you know? My co-workers started boot camp several months ago in no better shape than I am in, and now they can crank those modified push-ups out and I bet one of these days they’ll be doing full push-ups! As for me, although my legs are pretty strong, my core is weak. Coach suggested doing planks on my non-boot-camp days to work on those muscles.
I’m doing multiple things that make me uncomfortable at this point in my journey; in some ways, it’s a lot like the very beginning. I’m pretty stressed out, anxious, and self-doubting at times as I take on a new exercise regimen (with other people, no less), give up an old crutch (diet soda), and look ahead to making even more nutritional changes. I just have to remember that this tangle of emotions is part of making changes, and that things have a way of becoming “comfortable” again if you just stick with the changes for long enough.
9. February 2010 at 10:00 AM
I don’t envy you at all for going through this. I was a full on Pepsi addict and had a migraine for the first two weeks when I stopped drinking it. I’m proud that you made it through day 1 – Stay strong and keep it up, Hilary! I am SOOO pulling for you. You can do this!
9. February 2010 at 10:34 AM
Josie: Thanks for the moral support! Knowing you did this already inspires me to keep on keeping on.
9. February 2010 at 2:00 PM
It sounds like you have a lot of new things on your plate. The soda thing is tough and I think once you get past the first few days (which I think you have) you’ll be smooth sailing. Keep truckin’ on that, because a lot of people do not have the will power to quit soda. You should be really proud of yourself.
I’m the last person to give advice on push ups as I’m terrible at them, but I’ve done a lot of planks (or “the bridge”) and I remember when I started with them I could hardly do 30 seconds. Now, my best is two minutes and I do my best to keep my back straight. We also do side planks too. I know it’s helped my core tremendously so maybe it would help you too. It’s worth a shot, right?
I know you mentioned how hard it is to fall behind in boot camp, but I bet you don’t realize that you are inspiring others. I know people at my gym have told me that it’s very inspiring to see people keep at something that’s really tough, and not give up. You just may be pushing others in your group with your effort and not even realize it. :)
10. February 2010 at 1:13 PM
AFG: You know, it didn’t occur to me that I might be helping someone else by showing up to boot camp. I appreciate that perspective!
9. February 2010 at 2:40 PM
Hello there!
I just stumbled across your blog and have got to say that I think you’re fabulous! I’m on a similar journey myself and am happy to have found someone with similar determination to this!
I’ll definitely be reading from now on!
Tiffany
http://www.project365th.blogspot.com
10. February 2010 at 1:13 PM
Hi Tiffany! Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting! I checked out your blog—wow, you’ve got some incredibly motivational posts up over there :).
9. February 2010 at 6:03 PM
OOOOF. Breaking the diet soda habit took me FOREVER and if I happen to slide and have one more than once a week, I crave it every day. There’s crack in there I’M SURE OF IT! :) So seriously, congrats. Cold turkey was the only way to go for me. And it’s still tough, like I said.
For pushups, if you use a bench but do them on your toes, you can also work your core. I used a bench for a long time, then a step on the highest level, and now I’ve lowered it down to the lowest level. I’ll get to the floor soon! :)
10. February 2010 at 1:14 PM
Heather: Gah, I am so cranky w/ out my diet dr smack!! I hope this withdrawal phase passes soon. Thanks for the push-up recommendations!