Tiny Glow

Rough Days

Yesterday was a bad day. It just was. And for the first time in almost 5 months, I went “off-plan” with my eating and ordered and ate 2/3 of a big Mexican dinner. I wanted to eat the whole thing; guess I’m not as chompy as I used to be.
Today I’ve been eating normally again; [...]

Is Boot Camp Like Childbirth?

As I was driving to boot camp last night, I experienced an unspecified feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I kept flashing back to my Challenge manifesto-of-sorts and thinking “Was I on crack at the time I posted that?” (Answer, for those interested: No.) My brain started doing the frantic cat-in-a-bag clawing [...]

Sometimes We Are Brave

Sometimes I act like a jerk and make a fool of myself, and the self-recrimination and mortification is so painful that it makes me ill with vicious self-loathing. Sometimes I behave rather badly.
Sometimes I am confronted with my physical weakness. Sometimes I am lying face down in a pool of my own sweat on a [...]

Angles

At different angles, my face can look totally different—something I learned while I was at my heaviest and attempting to take self-portraits. At very specific angles, my face didn’t look so fat. It was an optical illusion of sorts.
Both of these pictures were taken today within minutes of each other:

It’s all about angles. Someday I [...]

Night and Day (With Progress Picture)

Last night everything felt pointless, boring, and tedious. Life felt devoid of purpose. I wanted a giant cupcake really badly because my emotions felt so intense and throughout my life I guess I got really used to soothing myself in such a way. It felt horrible not going to my old go-to, you know? I [...]

Believe It

This weekend I picked up Biggest Loser Season 5 winner Ali Vincent’s memoir about her experience leading up to and including her time on the show. It’s called Believe It, Be It, and that mantra was actually the one she adopted as she gave it everything she had to win the contest that season. Not [...]

Weight Loss for the Undeserving

Wow, posting my first progress picture was a blast! I can’t wait to post another one when I lose my next 20 lbs. It’s fun to think about what changes might be visible in my face and body by then. Plus, I’ll be halfway to my goal weight!
It’s funny, but sometimes I have weird thoughts [...]

What Weight Loss Can and Can’t Do

I experienced a honeymoon phase that started about two weeks in and lasted through Week 6 of my new weight-loss plan. I didn’t get too depressed about anything; in fact, I felt pretty great knowing I was finally turning things around with my weight, which has been out of hand for years. Sometimes, starting a [...]

The Swamp of Self-Doubt

You can keep losing weight even when you feel totally unhinged.
In the past two days I experienced a major mood slump that threw me totally off-kilter. I simultaneously contemplated eating my previous words and re-joining Weight Watchers, eating three tubular tacos from Hula Hut at a time, reinventing my entire life, and what the bloody [...]